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Thursday, August 9, 2007

New Chinese Stereotypes



I’m a sensitive liberal-arts-degree-holding kinda guy, so there’s nothing I hate more than the tired old stereotypes we hold about different groups of people. It’s insulting to the people being stereotyped, and it limits the thinking of those who buy into them, potentially closing off our minds to wonderful new experiences that blah blah blah.

That’s why I’ve come up with some exciting NEW stereotypes about Chinese people that you can use in your everyday lives!

1.) The Chinese are highly efficient sleepers. Almost every time I’ve been in a cab or on a bus with a Chinese person for a trip that would take more then 20 minutes, they’ve said “I’m going to close my eyes for a while,” then leaned their heads back and nodded off. At work, many people keep pillows at their desks (this is no joke; actually, it’s quite a good idea) and will just put their heads down on their desks for a 15-minute power nap over lunch. During the hottest part of the day, it’s not unusual to see people – including businesspeople - laying on park benches in the shade and taking naps. Being a hot city, I suppose it bears a lot in common with siestas in Mexico, Spain and other warm areas. Just didn’t know that was a Chinese thing too.

2.) Chinese look great in heavy black-rimmed glasses. Not everyone can pull this look off, but for some reason, the Chinese can.

3.) Chinese people move SLOOOOOOWWWW. This actually might be a Beijing thing and not a Chinese thing, and it’s far from universal, but more than once I’ve passed bicycles while walking briskly, and if I’m in a hurry, it always seems like everyone in Beijing is sleepwalking. I usually end up swerving in and out like a skier through a slalom, and I feel like I’m moving that fast, too. To illustrate this point, I’ve drawn this picture of me being run over by a glacier while trapped behind a crowd of Chinese.

IN OTHER NEWS:

MOVIE PACKAGE DESIGN 101:

I enjoyed what I assume to be a totally legal and legitimate copy of Die Hard 4.0 and was pleased to see that this movie wears its heart right on its sleeve:

Nothing like a prominently placed exploding helicopter to help you know exactly what kind of movie you’re in for.

I LIKES TO DRAW DRAWRINGS:

This should strike fear into the hearts of all of the designers I work with back home. It's a sample of some of the work I've been doing here. Now that I’ve had a taste, I don’t know if I can go back to being just a copywriter ever again.

WORK UPDATE:

Work has pretty much dried up after a long day yesterday (client call at 8:00 pm), and I don’t expect to see much more Beijing work (if any) before I leave. On the other hand, I’ve been getting some details about some work in Minneapolis, so I’ve spent some time pondering that.

The new business pitch I was working on was presented today (I wasn’t there – Chinese presentation) and apparently it went well. The farewell video I was working on was shown at the client’s farewell dinner last night, and apparently the honored guest enjoyed it very much, so that’s all good. (Oh, by the way, when I was at the American restaurant yesterday, I saw him having lunch. Probably a Yippie-Ki-Yay Burger or something. Kind of funny to recognize him from putting together the slideshow while he had NO IDEA who I was.)


Tuesday, August 7, 2007

America, Olé!



Went out for lunch with my Scottish coworker today. He’s heading to Shanghai tomorrow and then on to Bangkok for a long weekend, so we wanted to catch a meal before I take off.

Since it was a special occasion, I simply HAD to go to the American-themed restaurant I’d heard about at Lido Place a mile or so away.

Two words: Cowboy hats.

To be fair, it fit the overall theme, which was really more Tex-Mex than straight-up American. But it was still a little strange seeing the entirely Chinese staff wearing cowboy hats, boots, checked shirts (fringed shirts for the women) and jeans. The walls were decorated with serapés and sombreros. The music was, I actually don’t know how to describe it, but maybe romantic Country? Very low energy and as bland as a doughy tortilla.

Speaking of which, the enchilada was a bit substandard – stringy beef in the aforementioned doughy tortilla, topped with – well, imagine if you could somehow melt a carton of cottage cheese. And I mean the WHOLE CARTON, plastic and all. Kinda like that, but greasier.

The salad bar was a bit odd, too. It was made to look like an old chuck wagon, and while it had iceburg lettuce and salad dressing, there wasn’t much else there with which to construct a salad. There was a pasta salad that had what looked like strips of luncheon ham in it (ran into that in some noodles once before here, too) and what I think they thought was potato salad.

Deconstructing it at the table, it seemed to consist of large chunks of potato, salad dressing, pickles, bacon bits and paprika. (“What the heck IS this?” I asked my friend. “You tell me, you’re the American,” he replied, as if it were some national delicacy of ours.)

So not exactly a four-star meal, but I was amused by the décor. (Would have gotten pictures, but hey, no camera left.) I have to say, I bet that when Chinese tourists eat at many Chinese restaurants in America, they probably have a similar reaction. (“And where were the bones? It just creeps me out!”)

Monday, August 6, 2007

Riceometer Check





That's right, boys and girls. 90%. I have ten days remaining in Beijing (a little less when you consider my flight leaves early on the 16th.)

IN OTHER NEWS:

TRICKSY, TRICKSY THIEVESES WANTS MY PRECIOUSES
Take a look at the Riceometer picture. Does it look a little blurry to you? It should, thanks to the pickpocket who lifted my new Olympus camera out of my backpack yesterday, leaving me with just my low-resolution webcam as the last way I have to take pictures.

(Remember, my cameraphone was stolen after I forgot it in a cab in June. I say stolen because, while it was my own fault for forgetting it, when I called it moments later, the person who picked it up clearly knew it was forgotten, and knew they could answer it and perhaps get it to its rightful owner, but instead turned it off and took it. I accept some responsibility for that one, but I still say stolen.)

I'm not sure where it happened, but I suspect it was at the Silk Street Pearl Market, a six-story bazaar in central Beijing stuffed to the rafters with counterfeit bags, jeans, shoes, jewelry and more. I had gone out for the day shopping with two Singaporean coworkers. We went first to Panjiayuan, the huge antique market I visited twice in June, for some last-minute souvenirs, then to Silk Street for one of my coworkers to buy a bag.

Both are well-known for pickpockets, since they attract a lot of tourists, but in Silk Street we were constantly bumping people due to the narrow aisles, and the laowai are especially dense - like fish in a barrel.

I'm kicking myself, of course, because I knew better. I've been very careful about what I carry and where. As I was throwing my bag together for the day, I even looked at the camera in my hand and thought "I don't need this today." But then I think I got distracted and dropped it in an outside pocket with a water bottle.

Then I forgot about it. I remember feeling people bump me - at one point I even turned and asked a friend if I was still zipped - but I remember thinking "Well, if they want my water that bad, they can have it." Only later, when I realized it was gone, did I remember that I had brought it after all.

So yeah, I'm kicking myself - but I'd rather be kicking the thief who took it from me.

I will not miss sticking out as an obvious foreigner, and I will not miss the way foreigners are viewed by part of the population here as a source of easy money. There's the pickpocket, who probably also steals from Chinese but probably prefers to steal from foreigners because, even if I noticed, what do I do? I can't make myself understood. Then there was the vendor at Panjiayuan who gave my Singaporean (but ethnic Chinese) friend a starting price of 150 yuan for an item, then gave me a starting price of 280 when I asked about the same item a few minutes later. Or the panhandlers, who were especially on last night, following me and tapping my feet with their sticks for - seriously - at least 5 minutes (I was waiting for someone), totally ignoring the locals who walked by.

I know that's just sulky carping, and I know I should be more generous since they need it more than me, but I can't help feeling insulted. And I'm bitter about the camera.

Still, I'm talking about a tiny minority of the population in very specific places. I know perfectly well that every city has pickpockets and scam artists and panhandlers and worse - really I have never felt unsafe in Beijing, and I'm not going to let a little petty larceny ruin what has been a fabulous experience. I just don't like being marked as an outsider, but I guess knowing what that feels like is a valuable lesson in empathy for me.

As for the camera itself, at least I had moved almost all of the pictures to my computer (maybe a dozen were lost, nothing significant) and at least it happened after I had seen pretty much all of the tourist sites. And a replacement will cost less than $200 - a kick in the teeth, to be sure, but it's not like buying a new car.

So there you go! Sunshine and rainbows, everybody!

WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE:
One thing I noticed at Silk Street was that, while many of the vendors don't speak English, they all know all the brand names. There's a large number of Chinese whose introduction to our language starts with "Louis Vitton," "Rolex," "Nike" and "Dolce & Gabbana."

I don't know why that struck me. Maybe because it seems so trivial, or because it's a shame that foreigners come to Beijing, and that's all they want to talk about.

(To be fair, the bags I saw carried a badge that said "Dolge & Gabbana," and every one of them, regardless of whether they were made of leather, canvas or vinyl, was marked "Genuine Denim.")

WORK UPDATE:
About a week left, and NOW they pile it on.

The farewell video saga continues, with rewrites coming in from various parties on the client side, requiring a re-recording. I had to rewrite and edit parts, but fortunately got to skip the studio because I was at a meeting for:

The new business pitch on Thursday. Myself and one of the Singaporeans presented three conceptual ideas with extensions in 4 media. A Chinese team presented 2 more. In the end, two of the ideas I worked on are moving forward. But since the presentation is in Chinese, I don't know what more I have to do.

Then there's the print campaign that was my first job here - I was told I'll be spending part of the week coming up with online extensions.

And as for the TV commercial that is being art-directed by about 40 people on 4 continents, the call Friday was as painful as I feared. Frankly, I'm keeping my head down, other than informal discussions with a couple people, because I don't want to get sucked into that with just a few days left.

Mostly, though, I just want everything to wrap up nice and quiet-like. I've made it this far without a serious meltdown or crisis, and (knock on wood) I'd just as soon keep it that way.

I'll see you all soon!

Saturday, August 4, 2007

The One-Way Money Valve



Today I am going to bore you.

As some of you may know, my roots are in business journalism, and I am fascinated by business and economics. Since getting here, I’ve read a lot about the Chinese economy and I’ve been trying to piece together some broader image of it in my head. Recently, I felt like I had a light-bulb moment where, at least to me, some chunks of the puzzle seemed to fit, and I thought that, since I’m here to learn about China, I might capture those thoughts here.

WHAT THIS MEANS TO YOU: Nothing funny today. If you want humor, I suggest you try the official Family Circus web site and check back with me later.

DISCLAIMER: I am WAY out of my depth here and I freely admit it. I have never taken an economics course. I state the following as if I know it, but the truth is this is just how I’ve pieced it together from reading Chinese and American news stories on the subject. However, I think it’s worth taking this stab at it, even if I don’t know what I’m talking about, because:

1.) This is a blog, and if there’s one thing blogs are good at, it’s misinformed pontificating; and

2.) My blog tracking stats indicate that fewer people visit on Saturdays, so this is a good time to sneak a long, boring post in.

With that out of the way, here’s my macro-view of China’s One-Way Money Valve.

Grossly oversimplified, but I think it goes like this: Chinese products are sold overseas. Those dollars and euros and yen are converted to yuan as they enter China and distributed to the exporter, and from there down the chain to the company, the marketers, and eventually into people’s pockets. Yay! More money!

They go to spend it, but it’s expensive to buy foreign goods (the government keeps their currency cheap – I won’t delve into the politics, but it’s true.) So THEY buy mostly Chinese goods too, which is good, because that means more local manufacturing, more taxes collected, more salaries paid.

Companies want to spend too, but the government makes it hard to invest overseas (you can’t grow if all the money flows right back out; hence foreign firms “in” China are really minority owners of joint ventures that are Chinese controlled), so they make many of their investments in locally made equipment or real estate – and suddenly there’s a real estate boom, meaning more work, more salaries, more of everything.

So somehow everyone’s getting paid, and it all traces back to exports. But every time money gets changed coming into the country, they have to print more yuan, and relatively little of the existing yuan is leaving the country to pay for imports. And as long as exports outstrip imports, it’s a spiral, with more and more money stuffed into the system and more and more internal spending.

Adding cash to a closed system means more money for essentially the same number of people who all want the same things. So if I’m a merchant, I can raise prices as high as the market will bear – capitalism, right? And it’s not evil - it builds wealth for the merchant and the merchant’s employees, so yay, more money for everyone again! And there you have inflation – the same stuff costs more today than it did yesterday. As a result of the system I described, inflation is very high here, and it spikes easily when there are shortages, as has been happening with food lately.

The government tries to lower inflation by soaking up some of that ‘excess liquidity’ – their term for cash – by forcing banks to essentially lock up huge amounts of cash rather than lending or investing it (which would put it out for someone to spend it, worsening inflation), or by raising interest rates so people won’t borrow so much and will keep more in savings (also to keep it from being spent).

One interesting side effect of turning all that foreign export money into yuan is that the Chinese government ends up holding the foreign currency, to the tune of more than $1.2 TRILLION in foreign cash. They’re trying to find ways to use it - remember a month ago when Blackstone went public and China bought a chunk? That was $1.2 billion or so of their foreign exchange reserves leaving the country.

Interestingly, if I read this story right, they’re going to let Chinese people buy bonds backed by the foreign currency the government holds. If the Chinese government investments (like the one in Blackstone) make money, it will grow the wealth of investors. But better still, the investors buy these bonds with their yuan, which takes more cash off the streets to help curb inflation.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave….

Basically, my impression of the whole kit and kaboodle is that it’s like a balloon being tended by a very smart but very nervous man. The government wants the balloon to fill as quickly as possible, because with it comes a high standard of living, wealth and economic power, so they hooked it up to an air hose. But they’re also trying to keep it from popping. They don’t want to slow the airflow (which in my tortured metaphor represents money), so a pinhole here, a piece of tape there, maybe a rubber band to constrict it over there. All very nerve-wracking and very much sweaty-brow kind of work, because too much and too little interference are equally catastrophic.

In China, of course, these decisions are made by a small group of people. Governments set a lot of the structure everywhere in the world, but in a freer market economy, well, if the Japanese can make cars better and cheaper and take U.S. dollars back to Japan, too bad for GM and Ford. (Yes, I know it’s not that simple, but you get my point.) Here, on the largest scale, it’s not the decisions of consumers at the cash register that decides where money goes and when. (Not that we usually think about it at all, of course.) It’s decided by MBAs and PhDs of economics who are working to a plan.

None of this is stupid, and none of it is crazy. These are very smart people who I actually believe are trying to better the lives of an entire country as quickly as possible. But because it’s never been done, and because it involves not only the interlocking and inherently unstable global economy, but also the psychology of billions – well, obviously, no one knows how this will end.

Why does this matter? Of course, because it’s not just the Chinese. On the other end of that air hose feeding into the Chinese balloon are other balloons that are being squeezed by purchase-happy consumers – the American balloon in particular. And the American government is trying to use ITS pins and ITS tape and – if worst comes to worst – a tourniquet to keep its balloon properly inflated. We're connected, so if the Chinese balloon pops or deflates, it'll affect the air pressure on our side too.

(And with that that, my metaphor groans weakly, rolls on its side, curses the cruel and unfeeling fate that brought it into being, and dies.)

To anyone who knows economics, any facts I may accidentally have listed above are obvious, but this has been kind of a revelation for me. I think I KNEW some of this intellectually, but something about living here has brought it into focus. (At least I think it’s in focus. I welcome corrections of fact, though not of my opinions.)

Here endeth the lesson!

Friday, August 3, 2007

Front Page





I wasn't entirely surprised to see a picture of the bridge collapse on the front page of the China Daily newspaper. After all, it is right now the number one story internationally (it's still leading CNN's Asia News report), doubtless because of the unbelievable nature of the disaster, the loss of life, the dramatic images and stories, the fact that it ties into deep-rooted fears of people, and let's face it, because even international media has something of a U.S. slant.

An expat coworker offered another perspective on why it's big news in China's state-run media: because they can point to America, supposedly the most advanced nation in the world, and say 'See? Their bridges fall down, too.'

That seems cynical, but he may be right. The media here does play a tit-for-tat game. When concerns about Chinese food imports were raging back home, the discovery of tainted pistachios and chicken feet from the U.S. by diligent Chinese inspectors, and a threaten to boycott the U.S.'s unsafe agricultural products, was front-page news the next day.

A quick look at the other headlines does seem to indicate that these are government proclamations as much as they are news:

Foreign Media Enjoy Greater Access [read: we have a free press]
Top US Economists Rap Protectionism [read: even Americans support China's economic policy]
Party Graft Busters Uncover 900 Cases [read: corruption is under control, thank you very much]

The last story you can't see below the fold is about the rescue of 69 miners who were trapped in a flooded mine. We get those kind of feel good stories too, of course; the difference here is there's no sidebar questioning mining practices or safety.

The economist story is quite typical. The Chinese press LOVES writing about Americans who side with the Chinese in disputes. It undercuts the American government position in what is presumably a fair and balanced way (See? It's not us saying it, it's them!) and I assume makes U.S. policy seem less sure of itself and less stable. Which would give credence to my co-worker's theory.

But it is just a theory. This is big news no matter what, and we don't question why it's on the front page of newspapers in other countries. But I thought it was worth sharing.

IN OTHER NEWS:

BRINGING YOU UP TO DATE:
Well, I have just seven work days remaining, and it seems like things are starting to wrap up a little. This week at work, I have:
  • Been involved in that software print campaign I was in the kickoff for my first day here and presented my second week; it's moving along but won't be in print for weeks or months.
  • Reviewed and given opinions on the online extensions of that campaign.
  • Developed a rough layout for a bilingual HR brochure about our agency mission and structure.
  • Sat in quietly on the presentation of the concepts for the TV commercial I took a crack at but really have no current role in since my ideas weren't used.
  • Started developing concepts for a new business pitch next Thursday. Kind of a rush job, and we'll see how it goes. Internal review is on Monday.

Right now, I'm waiting to dial into a 10 pm Beijing-time conference call with peers in London getting their feedback and the client's feedback from the TV commercial presentation. I saw their written comments, which were quite brutal, so I'm glad I'm a silent observer. Those close to me know how much I hate tension and uncomfortable conversations (Conflict makes me gassy!), so I may have to turn the volume down very low and do something else if it gets too awkward.

Hope your Friday night is better than mine!

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Thinking of you in Minneapolis



First off, to everyone back home, I just want to say I hope you are all safe, along with your family, friends and loved ones. I know many of you, like myself, crossed that bridge regularly. Please keep me posted.

This has been kind of a surreal day. When I woke up, the first thing I did, as always, was fire up the computer to talk to my wife and read the news. The web was down, which is very unusual. Since my computer is my phone here, I wasn’t able to call home. Then I got a text message from a coworker here, asking if I was watching CNN.

My first thought was that something quite bad had happened in Beijing. It was a punch to the gut to see disaster, ruin and flames back home, to see my city on the news – I haven’t even seen any images of home in months, of course – with Wolf Blitzer asking obviously shocked eyewitnesses, complete with the Minnesota accent, to describe the collapse.

I’ve spent the whole day in a little bit of a daze. I called Shannon on my cell, international rates be damned, and was glad to talk to her because, as went through all of YOUR minds, you just never know who ran an errand or took a different route or whatever. So I reassured myself that my family was safe, called my bosses back home to get news about coworkers (thank God for working overtime!) and checked in with friends.

To me, it’s been like a mini-9/11. (Not to diminish this disaster in any way by calling it 'mini', of course, but you know what I mean.) All day I’ve been reading everything I can and trying to imagine what it looks like. I’m combing my memory for the last time I went over the bridge and under it – going under it, especially, it always seemed like such an erector set, and the sound of the traffic always sounded like it was roaring out of a tin speaker.

Most surreal, of course, is that while I’m having these feelings, hardly anyone around me knows where I’m from, much less that something bad happened there. They’re acting the way I imagine all you acted when 500 Chinese died in mudslides last month, or how I acted a couple weeks ago after watching a report about a building collapse in India.

That’s no critique of them or you or me or even human nature, which after all is what I’m talking about. But it really has driven home to me that every disaster is a local disaster.

For my own sake, I wish I was home. But I am thinking about you, and I’m right there with you. Take care.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

...and all I got was this lousy T-shirt!





Actually, it might be my wife's new T-shirt (sure, I try on her clothes. What? What are you looking at?) I personally LOVE teal, coral and lavender, but it's a titch too small for me.

I'm still not quite sure why I bought this. Maybe the words 'Memorable Summer" jumped out at me - it certainly has been, after all! It's not the funniest Chinglish ever, but I think I liked the completely generic "Tropical Beach Style" coupled with the very unenthusiastic "Memorable Summer Vacation." It really doesn't sound like something you'd want to commemorate with a t-shirt.

Person 1: "So how was your tropical beach style vacation?"
Person 2: "Oh, memorable."

Some other shirts I'd like to see:

"Major City: You should really visit it once, just to say you've been."
"Music-Themed Bar & Restaurant: Same food you can get everywhere, but overpriced."
"Sports Team: Meh, it's a rebuilding year."

And if nothing else, whenever i see my wife wearing it, it will remind me of the memorable summer I spent in Beijing. (And I actually mean that in a good way - this wasn't exactly a vacation, so 'memorable' is a very fair adjective.)