First time on this blog? Beijing Traffic Lesson: Left Turn is probably a good place to start.

Monday, April 30, 2007

T-Minus 10 Days: Gentlemen, Start Your Panic! (Part 1)

In honor of entering single digits in days until my departure, here are the Top 10 Things I Still Need To Do:

10.) Learn to enjoy Century Eggs: Haven't heard about these? A century egg is a raw egg that is wrapped in clay and lime and oh God, I don't know what else, and buried for a month, and when it comes out it looks like this:

(Credit to Wikipedia for this image)

Just remember: Someone, some time in the past, dug something like this out of the ground and thought "Oh, yeah! That looks GREAT! It looks like the devil himself barfed up the pit of evil from his soul, then wrapped it in lime and clay and buried it for a month! I'm SO getting me some of that!"

9. Get adapters for my electronics: I'm bringing a computer, iPod, various shaving implements, and a few other odds and ends. Now, they are from America, so they run on 120 volt alternating current, while China runs on the pure can-do dynamic energy of 1.3 billion people building what will soon be the world's largest economy. The adapter looks something like this:

8.) Adapt to the traffic:

By 'Adapt' I mean 'Avoid.' And remember, this video is of the drive-thru of a mid-sized McDonalds!

(Credit to wiser2001 for this video)

7.) Take up smoking: Apparently everyone in China smokes. I expect this practice was adopted as a little 'breath freshener' after eating century eggs.

6.) Give Mr. Chen something to eat: My wife and I have been listening to Pimsleur's Mandarin Chinese I audio program (great program, by the way, I highly recommend it), and just lately they've had us repeating a sentence that phonetically sounds something like "Chen Shienshung shien tsai sheung chir ee deeyar dongshee." Translated, it means "Mr. Chen would like to eat something now."

I just wish the lazy jerk would order his own darn food so I don't have to try to decipher that sentence again.

Numbers 5 through 1 coming soon!